Ten Things You Never Knew About… Bono

Executor of mediocre ditties and general joy-killer, Bono, has hit the headlines this week for making over $1bn from his 1.5% share in Facebook, effectively making him the richest rockstar in the world, but what other remarkable things has the U2 frontman accomplished throughout his career? Here are 10 things you never knew about Bono.

1. Bono met the other members of U2 at school, where they began their journey towards stardom as a group of friends. ‘We were that group who carried around Sylvia Plath novels, front side out, so everyone knew we were smarter and superior to them. Every school has a group of pedantic know-it-alls, who quote philosophers in everyday speech and lick up the theology teacher’s arse, you know, trying to be a modern day Dead Poets Society and that was us’, muses the self-proclaimed ”global tax” payer.

2. While Bono hails from Dublin, Ireland, he chooses to spend his time abroad, saying, ‘There’s no beating about the bush in Ireland- they think I’m a tosser.’

3. Bono’s real name is Paul David Lewson, but opts to go by the name of Bono to protect his family from being identified and harassed by the public. And where did the name ‘Bono’ come from? He explains, ‘It’s a shortened version of my nickname in school, which was ‘Fuck off, Bono’. Those guys!’

4. Bono is rarely spotted without sunglasses, but while many think this he wears them as part of a rockstar image, he actually claims to have a heightened intolerance to natural light- a condition he accredits to being a half-human, half-bat in a previous life. ‘My eyes are easier to penetrate than most, which could absolutely detroy them. That’s what she said.’ says the star.

5. U2 is a meritocracy and Bono sit proudly at the top of the band. ‘I win because I’m chums with Bob Geldof and I had the most lines when we were on The Simpsons,’ fondly recalls the star.

6. As Bono is the band’s leader, he is not only responsible for writing the majority of the songs, but also drawing up a rota to apportion potential  news headlines. ‘One week I’m in the press, harping on foreign aid and what people with less money than me should be doing about it, the next week, one of the other boys gets a go when they get a new beanie hat or start a load of nonsense over TV talent shows being a fix.’ explains the jazzy frontman.

7. While U2 is a four-piece effort, Bono and The Edge have collaborated together a number of times, and created songs as a duo under the name ‘Us2’.

8. Bono credits his ability to reinterpret the ordinary to help him with songwriting. ‘Not many people know this, but ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’ was inspired by the struggle of San Salvadorian peasants in the mid-1980s, as we used to hide their tips in various places of the presidential suite of the San Salvador Hilton. We wanted to spread the word to the wider world that some people don’t have, like, toasters and stuff,’ says the philanthropic frontman.

9. Bono is involved in a myriad of humantarian commitments, aimed to help those in the developing world, stating, ‘I always throw my loose change into those currency collectors at the airport, and I almost never forget to bring my ‘bag for life’ to Marks and Spencer when I shop there’.

10. In addition to his generous donations (above) to help the poor, Bono is committed to the ‘trade, not aid’ movement, employing a number of young children to clean his house for £3 per hour.

That’s all for this month, pop-pickers! But we’ll be back next month dissecting the life of another so-so star with ‘Ten Things You Never Knew.

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